Category: WRITING


Life Makes NO Promises!

Beautiful-Ocean-Sunset

Beautiful Ocean Sunset

If you begin to think of all the things that you’ve done in life, would you say that you’ve really lived?

Have you accomplished everything that you wanted to do?

Oh, let’s guess you’re too busy, not enough money because this needs to be remodeled or paid, what if this, what if that….HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH THE “WHAT IFS”.

Consider this, nothing in life is guaranteed, not tomorrow, not your next paycheck, not even the “so-called” fresh air we breath. And if the last thing on earth that you want to say happen to you was work, collect your check, take care of the family, pay bills, or take life too seriously, then life is really sad and pathetic. This means you are not living life to its full potential, instead you are becoming a self-developed robot to society.

There is no need to go jump out of an airplane, but hey, if that is what makes you happy then do it, just be safe about it. LOL! Live and do what makes you happy. Stop putting off what can be done today for tomorrow. Leave the words “I will do it oneday” in the distant wind as if it was an abandoned town you pass through, just take it out of your vocabulary, and make it happen. Treasure every moment for what it is, your kids, time to yourself, and the amazing things of the world that you may not have seen or experienced. Take the time to tell someone, or overly show someone how much you love and care for them as if it was the last time you will see them. Never feel like you have tomorrow to say you’re sorry, take the time and do it at that moment. Plan a trip to somewhere you’ve never been ( like Hawaii), even if you have to save for months, go and discover the world as if you’ve just been introduced to it. It doesn’t have to be over the top or too extravagant, heck, visit the beach and watch the sunrise or sunset, but whatever it is, DO IT.

Sunrise 28 Dec 2009

The Sunrise Dec. 28, 2009

With all this considered…………..remember………there are days,and times you will be angry, upset, or disappointed, but try, and try not to let anything still your joy, or your time that could have been useful towards something else.

Make life your own, because tomorrow is never promised, so live in each…. and every moment…. as if it was your last.

BAD HABITS….DIE HARD

Lalalala.. I don't wanna hear this!

STOP TALKING

I just realized something about myself today…..I get so excited when I am having an interesting conversation with someone and I go on and on without barely letting someone get a word in. This is truly only when I am excited, or upset about something. This can be an issue, especially when I’m upset because I don’t hear the entire story because I cut the conversation by interrupting. Sometimes it is not what it seems, but I never stop to listen first.

Everyone have a bad habit that is hard to break…but this is definitely a habit I need to control. It’s hard because whether I want to admit it or not I have been like this for as long as I can remember.

That is probably why my conversations go better and are more succesful when I write letters because I actually have to be quiet to read the response of the person I wrote.

I don’t know what made me think of this, but I usually review my day and try to figure out what I did wrong, I think about things that made me laugh during the day, but this made me cringe. I know I hate when I can’t get a word in when I’m continuously interrupted, so I guess this is something I need to work on. Why? Because I don’t want to be one of those people who make everything “all about them”. Or worse than that, listening to someone who goes on and on, is like reading a run-on paragraph or sentence and you never know when it’s going to end.  I want people to feel like I’m interested in what they have to say, and that I’m a good listener, even if I pretend to hear what they are saying. I’m just kidding! That is why just like a good structured paragraph and sentence that have commas and periods telling you when to stop, so should a a well-communicated conversation be between two people, so that it will be well-understand. Besides, when you stop and listen sometimes you can actually find out some awesome things that maybe you never knew or couldn’t even believe.

SO GO AHEAD, I’M LISTENING………!!!!!!!

My Listening Ears

GOOD LISTENER

Breast Cancer Awareness

Giant pink ribbon on the corner of 5th and Mar...

Breast Cancer Awareness

 

I scheduled my first mammogram for October 21, scared… a little, but not as scared as I was when I found out that my mom had breast cancer. She’s a survivor, but knowing what she went through makes it even more important to know that I need one. It was raining terribly, so I was not able to make it to the Breast Cancer Awareness walk, but there are other things that I can attend. The walk is my favorite because you get to see how many people actually experienced what my mom thought she was the only one experiencing. It gives you a better understanding and compassion of others stories, and how they made it through. When people have such a life-threatening altering experience they tend to feel alone, some even go through denial. The support of foundations, and certain events are a good motivation. It’s good to know you’re not alone. I am very grateful that my mother is still in remission. I will forever support the Pink, Black, and White.

I’m going to focus on myself a little today….I like being selfish like that sometime. Anyway, I had a setback these past couple of days. I thought I found someone to edit my book, but they couldn’t because they had something else to do. Which is fine? Their exact words was, “I have two new clients, but I wish you the best.” At least, it was less of a rejection, meaning I actually got an excuse this time. That really sucked. Amongst a couple of other issues, I felt like throwing my hands up. They say when it rain it pours. Sometimes I have to take two steps back to reflect on my direction when I am thrown off course. Lately, I had been feeling like I was a dog chasing my own tail, walking in circles not getting anywhere.

I did have a chance to bring everything back into focus. Like one of my post said, “I took the time to stop the world from moving around me while I felt like I was standing still”.

I realized the only reason I felt like this was because I was experiencing disappointment for the past few days. Nothing was going my way, I had no grip on things. But that is okay? Once I focused I realized that there was a lesson from the past few days that were crazy. Well, even though I know this is not the last time I will have a day, or few days like this I am better now and ready to continue.

Well, some people ask me how do I push forward the way I do? Sometimes I don’t even know. Being strong, and holding it together is very hard, almost like a cracked water dam with tons and tons of water ready to burst through. But mama said, “There will be days like this.” It’s what make you who you are at the end of the day.  I just try to remember that I am the only one who can change it, and try to take control before it gets too bad.

Through her eyes…..

Eyes

Image by Rickydavid via Flickr

There is a dead of silence with the whimpering of a broken heart and the tears of unspoken pain. The heat of the water stings her cuts and bruises upon her face. The aches grow stronger making it hard to move about, she jumps at the tenderness of her battered skin. Shaking and contemplating if this is what love really is…is the embarrassment of the visual appearance the expressions of love. The anger, yelling, screaming, and loud shouting is so normal it seems more calming than a sweet whisper of orchestrated music. As she lay in the darkness, she wonders if it was something she did wrong that could have been made right, but all she could think of is how angry and violent he got. Suddenly, the darkness is clouding the fact that life has become”the thin line between love and hate”and everytime he give her what he calls “love hits” the hate is the line she starts to walk, but a thin line it is. At the end of the day, I watch her make a decision, finding reasons of why she should stay with him. She throws excuse after excuse of why he used her body as a punching bag. Telling her to leave him is hopeless. Besides, you can lead a camel to a water well, but you can’t  make them drink from it. I ask myself as I watch her……when will she come to her senses? Will it be after she drowns in the sorrows of her own blood? Or will it be after she awakens to look in the mirror and see a face that she doesn’t know? There is no understanding to the passion, or somewhat need of that kind of love and attention that she longs. After watching her, if misery is love, then I want no part. As the days go by, being an onlooker is all that the by-standers can do. Its become a terrifying movie that replays day-to-day. Still there is no understanding of why she let happen…what do she feel…what is she thinking…what goes on when the door closes to what should be called home…all there can be is wonderment…if only we could see through her eyes…through her eyes.

Anger Controlls Him

"Think before you speak"

 

There have been times when I have been so angry that I say things that I really didn’t mean. Even though I may feel sorry for what I have said, the point is that it’s spoken, and once it leaves your mouth, it can never be unheard.

There are numerous ways of hurting someone, but the worse are words. Words lingering in the mind and haunt us like a ghost in the night. People in general have the tendencies to know exactly what to say, or what to call us to get a reaction. When the confrontation is over and forgiveness have been offered and excepted. Who’s to say the forgetfulness of what was said has begun?

“It’s easy to forgive, and hard to forget.”-

Words are a complex expression of poetry, a symbolism of love, and a pouring out of anger that leaves lacerations into the soul. Painful words can end someone’s life without knowing it cause a feeling of not being excepted. That is why it is best to:

“THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK”-

I don’t like to apologize and feel bad for what I’ve said, or how I’ve hurt someone’s feelings. Besides, when we look in the mirror there are always things that we can improve, or find wrong with ourselves, so how about we start there.

“If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say it!”-

….Try it practice makes perfect. I don’t like listening to negative people all the time anyway, that is why I surround myself with positive smart people. Smart people are too intelligent to think of  idiotic things.

People that use their tongue as a knife to cut, are unable to speak or spit words of the wise, and draw a crowd through intellectual transference. Instead, they are obsolete in the mind, and they feed on unhelpful criticism, and they survive on others to make their imperfections  and insecurities feel what people like to call “normal”.

If you are one of those people and you are reading this…it may seem a little confusing and upsetting….take look in the mirror and it will tell you exactly who I am referring to…

A little angry you may say, well you’re correct, since my younger days (high school days, and early twenties), although I’m still young, I realize the things you say to people mean a lot more to them than we may believe. I used to be one of those mean people who didn’t think before speaking, and I promised myself I would use my words that utter from my lips to love, inspire, and build up…not let down.

 

 

A child’s innocence

Laughter
Innocence of Laughter

 

From the time of birth, children have  no sense of evil, or hate, and no understanding of what disastrous turmoil is surrounding the world……. –

There is a sudden smile of the blissful dreams that fill the mind as a baby sleeps. The incompetence of worrying leaves the hair free of gray, and there is no meaning of aggravation. Watching children play without a care in the world, means there is a thing called “peace”. The holding of all hands without seeing color, but instead the excitement of wanting to play and laugh. The genuine forgiveness of “I’m sorry” when a mistake happens. An outburst of laughter just because something is funny. The opened mind that everyone is good, without seeing the dark side of someone’s attitude. Being giving of compassion through a simple hug thinking that will make everything okay. With a fear being so small that a scoop of ice cream can make the creatures in the night disappear. While the only person they look up to is the person that tucks them in at night after reading their favorite story. A simple kiss and goodnight prays are the only thing needed to help them fall alseep……and then the next day they get to do it all over again, while someone else do the worrying for them.

If only our lives as adults could be that easy with no hate, then maybe we would not be at war with each other. As a adults, if we had the understanding of “exception” then we would also be able to understand that the world is not for just one type of person, but for a mixture of people. If adults hearts were more like a child’s innocence then saying “I’m sorry” would not be so hard, then friendships or fights could possibly be forever. Being able to have outburst of laughter would make it easy to see the bright side of things, instead of being angry or full of disappointment all the time.

Maybe we, as adults, should start over and learn from the basics, the same way we teach a child to be kind, forgiving, and loving…..then maybe we would actually get it…..or maybe not.

~ Guided in Flight ~

 

There was moment when the wind seemed to have stopped blowing, the leaves fell slowly, and the noises of the world subsided. In this moment, it was like seeing the world from the outside looking in. At this moment, everything seemed clear. The problems, and issues that seemed so hard to figure out made sense. The fears of the mind were found inconclusive, and unworrisome. There was even the realization of the emotional impact that affect everyday trials and tribulations. Although, this feeling may be overwhelming, it is the second to a minute that matters the most.  Whether it is the beauty of the earth that captures your attention, or a brillant idea that crosses your thoughts, in this instant,  without a question everything will come together forming all the answers to your complicated questions. A misunderstanding will seem less important, and the offer of forgiveness will be vital. The act of giving rather than receiving will be more abundant, and more satistfying. The complexity will vanish and be absent,  love and the will to move forward will overtake the vulnerability of life having it’s moment. The aggravation of stress will diminish being replaced with the act of getting through it by using the strength of hope. This is the moment that everyone needs…..the moment to relax, relate, and release knowing that things will get better. It will almost feel like a quick second of meditation. This stand still moment will give us the time to reconnect with our goals, journeys, and plans  and help us to accomplish, or overcome whatever may seem so difficult. This is our way of balancing. It is gaining control.

If the meaning of the above thought is still not registering in your mind…..it simply means, take a moment to yourself, gather your thoughts, and don’t be afraid to come in touch with your emotions. This is how we asses our lives, and figure things out. Don’t let the stress get to you from through the every day-to-day issues, and if it does take out the time to analyze it, and meditate. Take a vacation even if it is in the privacy of your home, or room to get away from it all. Don’t let the world move around,while you stand still, instead be in control, causing yourself to steadily move about as the world stands still.

 

 

Gloomy Days Like this one…..

 

 

Michigan Ave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lately, I have been more gloomy than inspirational. So, I took a couple of days to bring things back together again. Working under pressure is my life. I seem to perform best under pressure. But sometimes that pressure works against my me.

I try not to blame people for the things that I fail at. Instead, I try to realize what kept it from being a success. Most of the time the object of obstruction is…..me. I find myself letting my fears take over me sometime, and that is the worst thing you can possibly do because then it will lead to the phrase “what if”. “What if” are two words that are definitely on my Top Ten words I hate to use list.

I’ve been through the “what if’s” at one point in my life. And guess what? I am still asking myself “what if” because I never accomplished what I wanted to do at that moment. But then, how can you accomplish something when you never tried because you were afraid of what would happen.

I fear rejection. I am pretty sure that no one likes rejection. I have always gotten what I want, but trying to become a writer is introducing me to a whole new world, and that world includes rejection. I am trying to take it with a grain of salt. But guess what? I don’t like salt. Salt is bitter and too much is bad for your health.

I try to look at my rejection as a lesson. I tell myself that maybe it wasn’t the right time, or choice for me. How long can I keep doing this? The worse is opening a letter, or email wishing that the words on the inside are the words that I have been longing for. It’s like opening a college acceptance letter to a college that you really want to attend, and not being excepted. No matter how much you tell yourself that it’s okay, deep down inside it is very disappointing. Looking for the bright light at the end of the tunnel gets a little hard when you can’t see what is in front of you.

But then there is my will to continue, which is stronger than anything. Besides, the only one that can let the rejection, and disappointment take over and win….is me…..but I am definitely not going to let that happen. I will not be responsible for the reason my dreams do not become a success, but I will be held liable for my outstanding accomplishments that I will  achieve. Then I could look back at my fears of rejection, and constant disappointment and smile knowing that there is a reason for everything. Until then……when I am down I will pick myself up, and dust my shoulders off, and continue with perseverance.

I guess this is just one of those days.

The Last Goodbye

'Goodbye my lover' used as album art!

A Brokenhearts Last Goodbye

Someone asked me, “Why is letting go of someone so hard, even when it is so wrong to continue?”………

The answer was not that easy, so thinking about it became the topic of the day.

It is in us, as humans, to cling to whatever we develop a liking, or a love to. That is part of what makes it hard to let go, because we start to care deeply. Knowing that we are about to cause ourselves pain, or hurt makes it difficult also. Most of us don’t like to be alone, and that feeling of companionship makes it easier. Sick as it may sound, depending upon the situation, some don’t want to let go because they may feel they put a lot of time, affection, and effort in making things work. But then this can lead us to settling, and who wants to settle?

But if you love that person as much as it seems, and “letting go” will be the best for both of you, proving it would show how much you cared in the first place. Besides, causing that person misery would lead to a resisting-angry relationship, and a nasty breakup that probably was going to happen anyway, considering how much it was avoided.  Anyone that has experienced a painful breakup can tell you…….

“Everything is always easier said than done.”

Whitney Houston’s “Where do brokenhearts go” is a beautiful song….the lyrics explains that even though a breakup is hard… it is still love out there….maybe that person was not it…may be it was a learning experience….”letting go” does not mean there wasn’t passion, or that caring for them never happen, simply put… it just wasn’t the love that was needed to keep the relationship together……the song is an oldie, but a goodie!