Category: books


Gloomy Days Like this one…..

 

 

Michigan Ave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lately, I have been more gloomy than inspirational. So, I took a couple of days to bring things back together again. Working under pressure is my life. I seem to perform best under pressure. But sometimes that pressure works against my me.

I try not to blame people for the things that I fail at. Instead, I try to realize what kept it from being a success. Most of the time the object of obstruction is…..me. I find myself letting my fears take over me sometime, and that is the worst thing you can possibly do because then it will lead to the phrase “what if”. “What if” are two words that are definitely on my Top Ten words I hate to use list.

I’ve been through the “what if’s” at one point in my life. And guess what? I am still asking myself “what if” because I never accomplished what I wanted to do at that moment. But then, how can you accomplish something when you never tried because you were afraid of what would happen.

I fear rejection. I am pretty sure that no one likes rejection. I have always gotten what I want, but trying to become a writer is introducing me to a whole new world, and that world includes rejection. I am trying to take it with a grain of salt. But guess what? I don’t like salt. Salt is bitter and too much is bad for your health.

I try to look at my rejection as a lesson. I tell myself that maybe it wasn’t the right time, or choice for me. How long can I keep doing this? The worse is opening a letter, or email wishing that the words on the inside are the words that I have been longing for. It’s like opening a college acceptance letter to a college that you really want to attend, and not being excepted. No matter how much you tell yourself that it’s okay, deep down inside it is very disappointing. Looking for the bright light at the end of the tunnel gets a little hard when you can’t see what is in front of you.

But then there is my will to continue, which is stronger than anything. Besides, the only one that can let the rejection, and disappointment take over and win….is me…..but I am definitely not going to let that happen. I will not be responsible for the reason my dreams do not become a success, but I will be held liable for my outstanding accomplishments that I will  achieve. Then I could look back at my fears of rejection, and constant disappointment and smile knowing that there is a reason for everything. Until then……when I am down I will pick myself up, and dust my shoulders off, and continue with perseverance.

I guess this is just one of those days.

The Last Goodbye

'Goodbye my lover' used as album art!

A Brokenhearts Last Goodbye

Someone asked me, “Why is letting go of someone so hard, even when it is so wrong to continue?”………

The answer was not that easy, so thinking about it became the topic of the day.

It is in us, as humans, to cling to whatever we develop a liking, or a love to. That is part of what makes it hard to let go, because we start to care deeply. Knowing that we are about to cause ourselves pain, or hurt makes it difficult also. Most of us don’t like to be alone, and that feeling of companionship makes it easier. Sick as it may sound, depending upon the situation, some don’t want to let go because they may feel they put a lot of time, affection, and effort in making things work. But then this can lead us to settling, and who wants to settle?

But if you love that person as much as it seems, and “letting go” will be the best for both of you, proving it would show how much you cared in the first place. Besides, causing that person misery would lead to a resisting-angry relationship, and a nasty breakup that probably was going to happen anyway, considering how much it was avoided.  Anyone that has experienced a painful breakup can tell you…….

“Everything is always easier said than done.”

Whitney Houston’s “Where do brokenhearts go” is a beautiful song….the lyrics explains that even though a breakup is hard… it is still love out there….maybe that person was not it…may be it was a learning experience….”letting go” does not mean there wasn’t passion, or that caring for them never happen, simply put… it just wasn’t the love that was needed to keep the relationship together……the song is an oldie, but a goodie!

“The Hands of Time”

Clock

Image via Wikipedia

 I’ve never been so sure about who I am, and what I want. Even when we are not sure of who we are, or what life is, time is never on our side. We can make mistake after mistake, but the clock is still ticking. We could wish and wish to have known what we know now, but that is not how life is. We are made to learn and grow from experiences through time. Hence, learning and  trying not to repeat some of the careless and idiotic decisions. Many people would choose to go back to a certain moment in their past to correct something, or make it better, but what difference would that make. Whose to say that we will not make different mistakes after that decision that we went back at changed. Think of the movie “Back to The Future”. No matter how many times Michael J. Fox went back in time and changed certain things, there was always other things that came with the choices he made, whether good or bad. That is why it would be best if we let the past stay in the past, learn and grow from it, and make the future better. You can hope and wish all day, but having that contentment about where we are in life and seeing the accomplishment mean more than anything. Yes, even time travel.

Cover of "Back to the Future"

Cover of Back to the Future

9/11 Became 911

The World Trade Center after the 9/11 attacks

Image via Wikipedia

 

 

9/11 Brought hurt. Everyone all over seemed connected, supporting each other emotionally. That day will never be forgotten. It was devastating, a disaster…..it was the day mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.

We as a whole will never be over the monstrous act of 9/11, or the lives lost.

That day was like three hits at one time. First, the twins towers, then the news no one wants to hear “I have breast cancer.”

All those that responded to the 911 calls will forever be the heroes that should be talk about all over the world.

Though that day brings saddness unimaginable, I’m overjoyed that my 911 prayers were answered. Mom is in remission, and yes she is a breast cancer survivor. She will forever be my hero that I look up to.

pink ribbon

Image via Wikipedia

 

 

A hundred-year-old closet.

Image via Wikipedia

I wrote two books and my biggest fear is never getting published. I was asked by a friend, “What are you going to do with the books you wrote, share it with the closet?”- Those words hit me hard. I know I am working hard to get my books published, and to turn my stories into the dreams of my readers imagination, but it seems impossible. I am passionate about the things that I write, but I find it so hard to stay inspired when I don’t have a clue when I actually will have a publishing house, or agent for that matter, that takes interest. My closet enjoys having my books on the shelf, but when will the sole of a book with a front and back cover be enjoyed in the hands of my readers. I always ask myself will my writing turn into a hobbie that I enjoy like singing karoake at a family barbeque, or will it be a success? Oh, I know, it will be my “closet’s” favorite.