Michigan Ave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lately, I have been more gloomy than inspirational. So, I took a couple of days to bring things back together again. Working under pressure is my life. I seem to perform best under pressure. But sometimes that pressure works against my me.

I try not to blame people for the things that I fail at. Instead, I try to realize what kept it from being a success. Most of the time the object of obstruction is…..me. I find myself letting my fears take over me sometime, and that is the worst thing you can possibly do because then it will lead to the phrase “what if”. “What if” are two words that are definitely on my Top Ten words I hate to use list.

I’ve been through the “what if’s” at one point in my life. And guess what? I am still asking myself “what if” because I never accomplished what I wanted to do at that moment. But then, how can you accomplish something when you never tried because you were afraid of what would happen.

I fear rejection. I am pretty sure that no one likes rejection. I have always gotten what I want, but trying to become a writer is introducing me to a whole new world, and that world includes rejection. I am trying to take it with a grain of salt. But guess what? I don’t like salt. Salt is bitter and too much is bad for your health.

I try to look at my rejection as a lesson. I tell myself that maybe it wasn’t the right time, or choice for me. How long can I keep doing this? The worse is opening a letter, or email wishing that the words on the inside are the words that I have been longing for. It’s like opening a college acceptance letter to a college that you really want to attend, and not being excepted. No matter how much you tell yourself that it’s okay, deep down inside it is very disappointing. Looking for the bright light at the end of the tunnel gets a little hard when you can’t see what is in front of you.

But then there is my will to continue, which is stronger than anything. Besides, the only one that can let the rejection, and disappointment take over and win….is me…..but I am definitely not going to let that happen. I will not be responsible for the reason my dreams do not become a success, but I will be held liable for my outstanding accomplishments that I will  achieve. Then I could look back at my fears of rejection, and constant disappointment and smile knowing that there is a reason for everything. Until then……when I am down I will pick myself up, and dust my shoulders off, and continue with perseverance.

I guess this is just one of those days.

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